The 1st step, accepting reality - Loser, you can’t deny it

"To be, or not to be..."

Shakespeare once wrote:
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts”

(unfortunately, like many others, I was sodomized by literature classes in high school).

Usually I wouldn’t care for cat poop (lame censorship) as that but the reason I remembered this phrase is because I’ve always wondered: Who wrote the act? Who made up the roles? And who matched them to the actors? god? chance? Is me being a loser, someone’s entertainment ? Or was it just a terrible mistake? (like choosing Ryan Reynolds to play the Green Lantern).

Well, whatever the answer may be, I’m not satisfied with the role given to me. I always saw myself as the hero (or the villain), so how did I become nothing more than a mere observer?

Editor's note

I’m not bad looking, I am not fat ,nor short. I'm ordinary except for one thing – I suck at everything I do (which means Im good at that?). I’m only 24 and already, from frying burgers to being a banker - Done it all and got kicked out... (except for astronaut, doctor and being Santa’s elf).

I did met some women who were actually interested in me but I blew em off with jerky behavior or got obsessive ending up being sued for harassment. I went to college but I’ve never graduated (too smart for them). I weight about 230 lb and I am driving  a 96 Daihatsu Charade (even Mr. bean looks cooler driving his car).

#3 - Get laid

Got your tissues wet already? Well, I wasn’t whining. I was overlooking my reality. Accepting reality is the first step to changing it. Now that I’ve come to acknowledge the wrong, I shell define what’s right (confusing? I know…). Hereby I declare my list of goals:

1. Get a girlfriend (Chinese high quality silicon dolls – not included) and start by dating not only when I dream.

I'm the man

2. Get a job I’d like, so I won’t have to mess with my bosses mentals just to get fired.

3. Get laid without paying for it (problem is – they always charge in advance…kidding).

4. Buy a turtle and train it into a ninja (Editor's note: yes you can - and not just cuz obama said so).

5.Get a bigger car, seriously I’m tired of feeling like a moby dick in a can.

Cold beer. Hot girl. All I need.

Now, I know my goals, all that’s left is finding the way to achieve them. Yet, I find myself having so many questions: What do we live for? (girls?, alcohol?, parties? self-abuse? – sweeet…) What am I here for?

Like, seriously, I'm fresh out of a job, l could be sitting on the beach drinking cold beer picking on chicks (I meant 'up', picking up) instead of writing dumb lines in my room, just because that squirrely little geek blog editor told me people will enjoy reading my poop (damn censorship)… and what are you still doing here? go get yourself a cold one.

P.s – Don’t forget to follow the next posts – I may actually get a real date.